Tag Archives: family

Blondie, Big Thief and Bad Reggae.

4 Jun

I am back, like a lingering smell the review has returned! Is it good. Is it bad? It’s hard to tell. Like a ripe Brie, some people love it and others are repulsed. Anyway, plenty of smell analogies there to be going on with so we will move on.

Last week and this week have all been music that Stevie has mixed opinions on which makes for an exciting (in the scheme of a stay at home mum, exciting) Mr and Mrs style competition. Will we like the same songs? Who will be offended first/the most? It is a risky Russian roulette of music reviews and marriage that could end in death or passive aggressive muttering and I am not sure which is worse. Next week is all music that he genuinely loves and as I have already stealthily acquired a chicken coop against his wishes, I may well find myself on the end of a particularly barbed comment about which way up I leave the spoons on the drying rack, if we don’t agree.

Hopefully this week I am safe and our family will remain intact…for now.


1. Blondie: Long Time


I LOVE Debbie Harry, she is and was so fit and cool. Those pins, that hair and the attitude! Sadly this is not reflected in the latest release (sorry to pull the rug). It starts with the promise of original, true to form Blondie. I was pretty excited and the video uses sunglasses as a clever way to disguise that anyone has aged since 1985, because God forbid celebrities should succumb to the ravages of time. Opening reminds me of that Christmas song ‘Christmas Rapping’ without the ‘clever’ pun. It is fun and lighthearted and then we trail off into a damp squib of a chorus- massive let down.

It’s not very edgy. It is mum-friendly, but not me mum-friendly, my mum mum-friendly. I saw a video of a load of middle aged women, dancing to a tribute band in their white cropped trousers and nice blouses the other day. They had been at a wine tasting and I thought how much they would love this song. They would be kicking off their mules and really letting loose to this one.

I was disappointed and maybe I expected too much as it is a good effort but ‘I can make everybody want to be your friend’ sounds like Debbie is singing to an over indulged toddler and I get enough of that in my day job.


2. Big Thief: Sharksmile


This is superb. It has so many delicious, guilty pleasure influences. It has hints of Journey and Dolly Parton with a splash of Lana Del Ray minus the excessive pouting and remains totally current and gloriously understated (deffo been watching too much Masterchef) Also reminds me a bit of early First Aid Kit which is a firm favourite in our house.

It is really hard to put your finger on why some songs speak to you in a way others don’t. At the risk of being cliche I can imagine listening to it on my way to a dive bar, with the roof down, late at night in America. It is all the angst and excitement that I imagine you get when you might meet you soul mate over a bottle of Corona (I am busking here). It is hard to picture anything more extravagant than that after several months of being in bed by 11 pm and driving an SUV crossover with the ‘Trolls’ soundtrack played on a loop for eternity but escapism is what makes any amazing song such a treat. We will be free again one day…right?




3. Wrongtom, The Ragga Twins: Woah.


Oh God, it is so not for me. I feel bad for even saying that because I get the feeling that in it’s field people probably really rate it. Unfortunately I don’t get it at all. It is repetitive and lacks any of the warmth or charm I associate with Reggae and Ska. It has a sexy, 80’s sax vibe going on in the background which jars with the pounding juggernaut that is the the melody. I sort of wonder when the appropriate time is to listen to this? Stevie likes to walk home to this which isn’t totally ridiculous.

Potentially it would be a really great tune to listen to when you have taken a load of speed and want to walk to Brighton to see a mate you knew 3 years ago. It would definitely keep you going for a while but even in that scenario, eventually you would begin to feel like you are being hit over the head and the crushing realisation that Brighton is 150 miles away and you never liked that lad anyway would set in. You’d be left just standing, listening to a really aggressive song that you don’t know any of the words to.

So, yeah, that.





If you like this then share it! I am beginning to find that I like writing the negative reviews a lot more than the positive ones which sort of sums me up as a person.




New Year, New Me? The truth, the whole truth and nothing but…

20 Jan


So I have been neglecting my blog a little, well a lot since last year and I have missed it. I think sometimes you need to take a step back and have a look at the reality of life otherwise you will forget to live it. I have been living life like a lunatic, I got married in August and settled down to the suburban ideal. Weddings are not without their niggles and it is rarely the things that you stay awake worrying about that will cause problems on the day. It tends to be the unforeseen and unpredictable elements and people that rear their ugly heads on the day. In reality though you kind of have to just go with the flow, don’t expect too much of anything and you will never be disappointed. I have spent every single New Year that has been planned and anticipated for weeks with a sense of blah. The night will never be as electric and you will never look as enigmatic or the food will never be as good or the music as cool or the people as sexy as they were in your mind on December 29th or if that isn’t your bag then the porn you downloaded won’t be as hardcore as you anticipated or the popcorn you bought will be slightly stale…what I am getting at is that you will feel slightly let down and cheated by your over ambitious imagination. The same goes for your wedding day and life in general. I am not suggesting that you should remain cynical and uninvolved with the world ‘just in case’. The expectation of a fall is often followed by just that as we all know but you should be prepared to lose control, handover the reigns to the universe and think fuck it, what will be will be.

It has been a long and difficult process to get to this point of view, my battles with OCD and anxiety have been well documented in this blog and really I am a meticulous planner, I had lists and table plans and more lists and spent hours scouring the internet for florists and dresses and bridesmaid shoes (nearly killed me) I was a hideous bridezilla at the rehearsal ‘don’t speak to me, I just need you all to leave me alone or I will cry’ and the following dinner. But what I took from my wedding day was that if you believe that no matter what happens you will have an amazing time and it will be a truly magical day then it will be. You can breathe deep and just let go, it is a terrifying and liberating feeling. I promise. With an attitude like that you can spill so much wine over yourself that your fingers go pruney, chase Ukrainian tourists with video cameras from your wedding venue and forget to speak to at least half your guests without a care in the world (I also managed to break the strap of my dress during the first dance and bleed all over said dress pre photos)

My therapist told me that your truth is the truth. Obviously this is a very broad statement and if your truth involves deliberately hurting others or anything illegal then perhaps you should skip this section but widely speaking if you are happy and content with your lot then you have enough. That is what makes us all so unique and it leads to a wonderful place where nobody can really alter your reality. There are certain papers that I no longer read and certain people that I don’t associate with because their influence lead me to feel badly about my looks, finances, life choices etc. I have been led to think that I am not thin enough, rich enough or successful enough by outside elements but if you can believe that you have plenty then you do, if you believe you are good at your job then you are, if you believe that you are beautiful then it is true and if you believe that the world is going to the dogs then it is. It works both ways and the truth is a very powerful thing.

What I am trying to say is, that in this day and age when life is so stressful and expensive and our expectations of the future are either very high or very low it is important to remember that being happy, being content and being a dignified and decent person is enough. If you know these things to be true then the character of life; the excitement, the pain, the unexpected detours and the heartache, the wins and the losses are what makes it all so special…just like the drunken arguments, the ruined shoes and the tears of joy on your wedding day.

A Letter

8 Apr

I haven’t written a blog since before Christmas, in the last few weeks a few things have happened and I wanted to share something. I will set the context first. I suffer from anxiety and have for a year or so and I am starting to get better and this has caused a lot of problems with my dad as the past has a lot to do with the way I feel at the moment. I had an argument with my Dad, sort of, over Easter. It was the last and biggest in a long line of issues that have caused many spells of not speaking. I haven’t seen him or been in contact in any way since so I wrote him a letter to tell him how I felt about the things that have happened in the past 15 years that have led us to where we are today. When I read it back I realised that the things I had spoken about in the letter to my father were about me and the pressures I have put on myself as much as they were about him. I found it very therapeutic so I wrote a letter to myself too.

I decided to share it with all of you because most things written in the media for men and women is designed to make us feel bad so that we will go and buy the products that will ‘cure’ our ills. We are too fat, buy the diet pills. We are not fabulous enough, buy the bag. We are too old, buy the wrinkle cream. It has taken me a long time to realise that in reality you don’t need anything. Success and happiness are relative. I have stopped reading the paper and magazines at recommendation of my shrink and I have started paying attention to real life.  

Bare in mind that I may not believe everything I write in this letter but I do my best to read it often and take it on board. I hope it might have some affect on your life. Be kind to yourself.

To You,

Life is very hard at the moment, you are stuck between the comfortable misery that used to be life and moving forward to getting better. It seems super difficult and confusing right now because part of you wants to stay in the familiar drives and expectations of people that you have become used to. But the other part, the strong and clever part would like to step into the future where it is OK to be you. Who has the right to put boundaries on who you are and what is right or wrong. 

Things to remember are:

You are a nice person, apart from some petty theft in the past, you have never done anything that would be considered bad. You care about people, you work hard and even if you don’t you are not a bad person. You are still valuable and sometimes you need to realise this and put yourself first. You are important and just as important as everyone else. Stop putting their needs before yours. 

Also, some people are not very nice-this may be because of their own history but you must accept that this is the case because it will make life more kind and contented to understand that no matter how nice you are some people will never return the favour. If you are able to see this then you will be able to to forgive people from the past and stop trying to please these people. If they don’t consider you to be their equal then that is their prerogative not yours. Always remember this; your opinions are valuable.Everything is actually fine no matter how overwhelming it seems. 

These things are truths:

  • Your family love you
  • You have a home
  • You have a brain, strength, bravery and spirit
  • You are funny and fun
  • Your other half loves you as much as you love him
  • life’s little surprises are to be enjoyed-being a victim will only make you more susceptible to catastrophe
  • You will not end up penniless or homeless. No matter what happens life will end up working out
  • The worst has already happened and you coped brilliantly
  • Success is personal, as long as you feel your life is successful it is unnecessary to compare it to others. No matter how rich, thin, funny, talented you are there will always be someone to be jealous of.
  • Jealousy will not make you happier. Being content with who you are and what you have will leave room for you to grow and to see the opportunities available.


  • You are capable and beautiful.
  • A size 10 is not fat! Eating is fun and should be enjoyed, don’t feel guilty!


Everything, EVERYTHING is within your control and capability

Lots of love You.xxx 

Body Beautiful

27 Nov

Body image is something that I find mind boggling. Recently a couple of people have told me that I have the perfect figure. This is met with a look I wish I could show you but mainly expresses the fact that the recipient is clearly quite insane. I am tall, with long legs, no bottom or breasts really to speak of, a bit of wobble in the middle and the longest arms I have come across. I do not consider this combination of attributes to be anywhere near perfection. In fact my idea of the perfect woman is a good 3 inches shorter than I am with a flat stomach, big boobies and a bit of junk in the trunk all tied together with taut, tanned flawless skin. Nothing like the soft, creamy complexion I have that led my family to give me the nickname ‘milky pud’. However I would not change anything these days. Believe me I have looked into a tummy tuck or a bit of lypo but it is my belief that once you start messing with your body it is a slippery slope to plastic fantasticville. The other day my mum was debating whether to buy a 17 grand kitchen. Lovely if you have the money and you need a new kitchen but I swiftly alerted her to the fact that if you have a top of the range kitchen then the rest of the house will look, well, shit in comparison. In my opinion the same applies to your body. If you have a top of the range stomach those thighs will start to look a bit shoddy. Once the thighs are state of the art the breasts that looked fine before this renovation will start to look old and worn out…nightmare.

I watched something the other day about young people embarking on plastic surgery and was really gutted to see a girl who had a nose job come out of it looking rather plain and a little too ‘normal’ for my liking. People who know me well know that I am partial to a big konk. I find that there is something regal and handsome, in both men and women, about a roman nose with a bit of a hook. I personally do not have one so perhaps living with it on a daily basis is different but it is your heritage and your legacy. It shows where you have come from and the people that created you. Its is quite a beautiful sentiment.

I look identical to my Mother and my Grandmother (if 50 years younger) as the men in my life love pointing out. I am the same shape facially and physically as they are and that is not longer and issue. We all put on weight around our waists but have very defined cheek bones and shoulders no matter what. We all have tiny wrists, delicate hands and enormous eyes. We all have a slight over bite which braces has failed to correct in any of us and I think that drastic measures to change any of that would be a shame. Believe me I have tried to become more delicate and feminine. I have tried to lose the belly to the extent that I ended up as a patient in an eating disorder unit (bulimia with anorexia nervosa tendencies) but I have come to the conclusion that I look like the women who have loved me and nurtured me. The women who with the help of my grandfather drove from Africa to England when my Mother was 2 to set up a new life, the women who worked in hospitals and schools to make the world a better place, the women who knitted and sewed and cooked and cleaned and gave me life.

The beauty of it is that I don’t actually have to do anything differently to look like these inspirational and clever ladies because I already do so I can stop beating myself up for not looking like Kelly Brook and get on with liking myself.

So pass the cake and the wine and lets have a big old love in. Why would you want to strive to look like Cheryl Cole when you look like you?